The Adventures of the Black Girl in Her Search for God

Monday, January 15, 2007

Black Barbie Dolls

Hello Friends,

I thank you for many of your kind words and emails after precept yesterday. My frustration was rooted in my inability to articulate another dual striving, prevalent among many Black women in the modern American society.

Revisiting our conversation on DuBois:

If, as Black Americans, we are both striving to embrace our ‘Africanness’ and our ‘Americanness’ then what does it mean to be ‘American’ as it pertains to gender roles, and from that, what are Black Americans accepting and rejecting?

I argue that gender roles defined by western ideals are often embraced by Blacks in their American Striving, not as a rejection of the gender roles of traditional African cultures, but as a rejection of the African -American gender roles defined (or redefined) during slavery.


Of that redefinition, in Souls of Black Folk, DuBois states:

“The red stain of bastardy, which two centuries of systematic legal defilement of Negro women had stamped upon his race, meant not only the loss of Ancient African Chastity, but also the hereditary weight of a mass corruption from white adulterers, threatening almost the obliteration of the Negro home.” (page 50)

**(Those highlighted fragments are meant to also introduce the notion that perhaps the Black American woman’s gender identity was rooted in shame. Hmmmm?)

Further, in last weeks precept, we mentioned that the modern day “African”/Black – American striving is more one of the rejection of media imposed images of Black people, than it is a true striving for traditional ‘Africanness’, as the majority of Black Americans are now so far displaced from their African ancestry.

So then, of Black women depicted in the media being degraded as the ‘video hoe’, or often as being, belligerent, and un-kept, what is the alternative that our society and culture offers, as these stereotypes are so widely rejected?

Lastly, Black men have played the largest role in Black women’s pursuits for western ideals of femininity. See Booker T. Washington in Up From Slavery:

“ In order to defend and protect the (white) women and children who were left on plantations when the White males went to war, slaves would have laid down their lives” (page 13)

There is no sweeter notion to many heterosexual Black women than the idea of Black men laying down their lives in protection of us (while a Black man may do this for his wife, mother or sister, do we really see it on a broad level?). Interesting to also note that through her anti-lynching campaign, Wells displayed a willingness to lay down her life (literally, b/c it was threatened in the South) for Black men that were being lynched.

But what does this quote tell us about how Black women must position themselves to be held in that same regard?

I argue that Black women are largely thought to be strong enough to protect themselves. And while many Black women embrace that, and many on-looking White women view this as liberating, there doesn’t seem to be much of a choice in this, as this image of strength is imposed upon us.

This becomes even more problematic, because in recent history, many Black men have achieved ‘American’ ideals of wealth and independence (or so they think), and many many more are still striving for that in this capitalistic structure that we live in. In their pursuit, many are not rejecting western ideals of gender relations, as they are looking more and more to establish “American Households” for themselves and their families. (I am reminded of Dr. Paris’ example of his friend who took “Great Pride” in the fact that his wife never worked) - - think about where that ideal comes from?

Further, I spoke of my own Barbie dolls and canopy bed, simply to create an illustration of how my own father took great pride in the notion of me growing up as a little ‘American Girl’. The idea that his daughter could enjoy those ‘feminine’ luxuries, affirmed that he had, in some way, ‘arrived’.

But what is at stake, in the formation (and reformation) of Black female identities, if we want to support our Black men in this ideal of achievement? Perhaps we shouldn’t, but our American culture has bound us to these ideals of success so much, that their rejection is often equated with failure. (We don’t want our Black men to feel that they have failed –right ladies)
In saying this, I acknowledge that the academy attracts a different kind of thinker, but consider the masses.


I hope that this does a better job of capturing where I was coming from in class yesterday. I welcome your engagement on these issues, as I am still working through these ideas myself, and would greatly benefit from your thoughts and criticism.

Peace and Blessings,

Kim Copeland

OH MY

When I first saw you…I said “oh my”, “OH MY!”…that’s my dream. A trained actor, singer, songwriter and dancer, Keith…OH MY! But sweetie, it’s your past I seem to be having a hard time getting over. I try and ignore it. But I just can’t. Keith. KEITH! Say it aint so. Tell me that it was someone else playing the dorky friend in the Fat Albert Movie. Tell me you have a twin brother who played the Green Ranger in the tv series Power Rangers. Tell me Keith! Please baby please…tell me something so I can move forward with my dream!


Sunday, January 14, 2007

the "Nobody's" Celebrate Dr. King

Monday, January 15, 2007 @ 12:07am, "the Nobody’s" celebrated Dr. King’s Birthday.





Kim celebrates the memory of the passing of the Voting Rights Act. She rejoices. Although, she was too busy this year to make it down to the polls.






Khristi always wanted to take a picture with Dr. King. She was born about 14 years too late. Oh well, this will do!



Ashlee has a sad moment of reflection. Have we made it to the Promised Land?

(25 Years Later)

Dear Shawn,

Yes! I had am amazing birthday. I have the best family ever and some of the greatest friends ever. (both on and off campus) It all began on January 12th. My hair appointment turned out alright. (that’s how I knew the weekend was going to go well)Then I went to visit my mother at her school . It just so happens I have friends that work there too so I spent some time with them. (cept for Tosha) Then I went home and later that night my family made dinner for me and gave me money (Thank God! I needed about $20 just to get home) My mom did a toast to me and reminded the entire family that she had her first child at 25 (what the @$%#^ did she mean by that???) Then my nephew (who’s eight years old) set up a bunch of lights and his DJ equipment in the living room, so after dinner we all went in there to dance to Michael Jackson’s Thriller Album (and then stopped when we realized how old that made us feel). Then I watched Jump In (the new Disney Chanel Movie) with my sister, niece and nephew. Then we all talked and laughed till it was time to go to bed.

The next morning (MY BIRTHDAY!) my mom made breakfast. (then I realized that she was really making it for my brother cause he called and said that he wasn’t feeling well and asked for breakfast) Then I got ready to leave and head back to campus to get the girls. We headed to see Dreamgirls (shhhhh…it was my 3rd time seeing it). We had a lot of fun singing and dancing in the theater. (but Ashlee and Kim liked it a little too much cause the dancing and singing continued WAY after the movie as over and embarrassingly into the waiting room of Olive Garden) We had a good, long, dinner and talked and talked and talked. (we were the loudest ones in there). Then in the car on the way back I thanked them for such a great night (cause I had a HORRIBLE birthday last year). Kim insisted that we go back to her apartment for drinks. (I was thinking “again!? I’m 25 not 18. It’s time for bed) We get there and we toast (to me of course) They turn on the music and I (having no clue what’s about to happen) decide to let loose and get down with my bad self. I notice the girls had a mischievous look on their faces…and they were holding blindfolds (hmmmm…).

BAAM!!!

They gag me, tie my arms behind my back and put a pillow case over my head as I scream for help!!!! (I mean I kinda knew it was a joke, but one can never be sure) They tell me to shut up and lead me to the parking lot when they put me in a car that’s playing 50 cent's “It’s Your Birthday” (Or whatever). The driver plays that song over and over again. (Ugh, if I’m going to die, at least give me some Fred Hammond) We arrive at our destination. The driver leaves. By now I had untied myself and had been boogying in the backseat to the music. I decide not to be a poor sport so I sit in the car…alone….in the quiet. (I decided to recite some of my lines to my new play while I waited).

I guess I ruined the plan.

They expected me to get out of the car and make my way back to the dorm. (in the rain? I just got my hair done!) Kim finally came to get me explaining how my guests had left because I was taking too long. But some wound up staying because when I walked in my room (SURPRISE!!!!) people were screaming and balloons everywhere. I went to my cake to make a wish and blow out my candles when I realized…

I am 25 years old and I have everything I could have ever wanted.
(Thank You Jesus)