The Adventures of the Black Girl in Her Search for God

Monday, December 03, 2007

"Too Single" Field Trip #2 1/2: Cinderellas' at the Ball

“Please Kim! Please don’t make us get on the train and take a cab in heels.” That was the first sign that we had reached “high maintenance” status. Look out Links! We couldn’t possibly see ourselves getting cute just to get on the train. GOSH! Yes my friends, it’s your favorite Single in the Seminary Crew out for “Too Single” Field Trip #2 1/2. (We did do first Friday’s some time back, but that doesn’t count) The Metro-Manhattan Chapter of the Links Annual "White Rose Gala." Why oh why is it getting so difficult to schedule trips in…and even more…why does it take an entire mental extreme makeover, just to psyche ourselves up to go?









At any rate, in the car on the way there, Jessie gave us our Christmas gifts. (On December 2nd? Someone is very excited about the holidays. I have to honestly say that I don’t remember the last time someone- other than family- put so much thought into a Christmas gift for me. It’s usually gift cards and money. Reminds me of the good ‘ole days when people actually put some thought into getting gifts.) Personalized picture ornaments of the gang! I almost cried….almost I said.

Enter Pier 60- Cocktail Hour.
And what a wonderful hour it was. We took pictures within the first 10 minutes as if we had been there for hours. But hey, who would know? White Wine, Red Wine, Wine I’ve never heard of, and an array of good looking men in tuxedos serving us appetizers every 10 minutes at our beck-and-call. Was it heaven? Nope. Just high society. When they finally unveiled the ballroom we were mystified.




Hundreds of people and a fancy band, white roses and candles all over the place, my lord- what else is there for a woman to do at that point but to start talking about her wedding. “I’m gonna have…” “When I get married…” “I don’t think I'm gonna do that at my…” So on and so forth. Deep down inside we know we have one of two options; either it’s 1) not going to happen at all, or; 2) not going to happen the way we want it. Oh well. Once we snapped out of the whole wedding talk, reality began to surface and we began to enjoy the night “too single” style.

Get down with your bad self Jessie. She took the center of the dance floor and seeing her do the electric slide with dozens of Black folk surrounding her OFFICIALLY inducted her into the "Coolest White Girl Ever Hall of Fame." (no pun intended)
Kim mingled around the room and somehow found the only Nigerian man in the room to get with. Her Marcus Garvey “Back to Africa” campaign is well on its way. Kim is going to get to Africa, if it's the last thing she does. America is SO 400 years ago.

And our dear friend Ashlee showed us that even in a room of a thousand people, she can in fact be, the loudest one in there…amazing.

As time neared the end, we slowly began to realize that partying hard on a Sunday night, would have severe consequences the next work/school day. We drove home singing songs from Kim’s class of 1984 collection and as we stepped out of the car back at the good ole Witherspoon Apartments, the clock struck 12 and the Cinderella’s went back to their normal lives.

And they lived happily ever after

…single of course.

You Have to Laugh to Keep From Crying

The following in an excerpt from a History Game that I played with some 6th and 7th grade students in Trenton:

Me: Which President was responsible for initiating the Emancipation Proclamation?

Students: George Bush.

Me: Who is the Black man currently running for the 2008 Presidential Election?

Students: George Clooney

Me: What country is south of the United States?

Students: South Trenton?

Me: What is the capital of New Jersey?

Students: (With hesitation) Uhhh…Trenton?

Me: Name one of the 3 ships the Columbus sailed to the Americas?

Students: The Mayflower.

Me: Is Africa a country or a continent?

Students: (90% of them said country)

Me: What is the largest continent in the world?

Students: Pluto

And last but not least…I opened the textbook and turned to a picture and pointed to it and asked,

Me: Name this man.

Students: Martin Luther King

It was Hitler.

Back By Popular Demand

I have recently been asked why I took down my “Too Single” Pow Wow vent with “Too Single” member Ashlee. Well folks, let me just say this…my cynicism will no doubt get me in trouble one day. If every time “Nice” got on my nerves and I posted a venting blog, not only would I exploit our…whatever it is we’re doing…but, I’d look emotionally unstable don’t you think? But…you know…well…since you think it’s funny and all…just this one time…

A "Too Single Crew" Pow Wow:
How Being so Wrong Could Feel so Right

Khristi: I actually have to work today

Ashlee: LOL. Never would have thought. Anyways, *Nice sent you a check in the mail.

Khristi: What? Why?

Ashlee: I guess for the show this summer. He said he was gonna but I was like don’t worry it’s too late. But he did.

Khristi: I’m in love!

Ashlee: At least one of us is.

Khristi: That is funny! Girl, it’s okay. Leave the nice guys ALONE.

Ashlee: I have been saying that. I am SO back to the Ruffnecks of the world.

Khristi: At least there’s no mystery in them. But no one can say we didn’t try!

Ashlee: That’s true. You tried hard girl.

Khristi: Nice can be disappointing. Rude isn’t. U know exactly what you’re getting with Rude.

Ashlee: Absolutely. You know about Jerks. But nice guys have too much to figure out. Rude guys are so upfront that you have nothing to figure out.

Khristi: Right.- it’s like- “I am so 100% clear that you’re going to leave me."

Ashlee: LOL

Khristi: "And use me for sex"(well not me)- But NO mystery

Ashlee: LOL

Khristi: I propose a toast- To the 50 Cents of the world!

Ashlee: God Bless TI!!!!!

Khristi: To the Mob Bosses!

Ashlee: To Sonny Corinthos!

Khristi: And the sexy crime lord he is...

Ashlee: God Bless the Ex Cons! To the boys you don’t wanna bring home to momma!

Khristi: To Frank Lucas…for bringing it back in style.

Ashlee: To Denzel Washington for playing Frank Lucas so well…and bringing it back in style.

Khristi: “What was that you said? You have my best interests at heart? I’m sorry, this isn’t going to work.”

Ashlee: LOL

Khristi: “What? Ure Committed?" RUN!@!!!!!!@

Ashlee: LOL

Khristi: Now I’m sounding bitter.

Ashlee: A little. But its good to let it out.

Khristi: Ure a good friend.