"Too Single" Field Trip #1: A Night of Healing

I think deep down inside we thought we were on our way to a Beyonce concert. Dolled up and dolled out ready for a night on the town. (Tosha- remaining incognito, Andre- at a house party in Franklin of all places [can someone say 1999?], Ebonee- lives too far away, and Jessie- I’m not sure where Jessie was.) Well, it was everyone’s favorite “single in the seminary” crew, Ashlee, Kim and Khristi and our “plus one” for the night, Mr. Larry Lyons.

Arriving fashionably late we realized that the lady of the hour, Ms. Arie however, would be even later having not one, but two openings acts and an entire intermission before her entrance. We decided to wait in the lobby until then. Two different men approaching Kim, not surprisingly, while Ashlee talked on the phone to an ex, Larry bumped into a trillion “old friends” and I of course would run into members of my church, shaking hands and hugging like we just finished benediction wondering if they smell the wine on my breath. Did I mention that my mom, dad and little sister were there too? (sigh)

Enter the theatre…or so we thought. India turned that place into her own private sanctuary and we were her congregants. While we were ready to raise the roof, she had other plans. Her honesty was contagious. Her voice was angelic. Her words were piercing. Tears began to well in my eyes. Then I looked at Kim and Ashlee and their's were too! I looked over at Larry and his head was down. What India? You want us to examine our lives? Forgive? Heal our souls? Be a better person? For two hours she preached to us and we listened and took notes on our hearts. We left free and full off of love and emancipation.

Could this be how all the “too single” field trips should be? Perhaps. But we didn’t plan this. And as usual, we had no other choice but to recognize the God that orders our steps and intervenes on our lives gracefully.

And the church said, AMEN.

Be a Woman. Be a Fan.

This me and Ashlee's absolute favortie commercial! You have to laugh even at it's slightly misogynistic tagline. I love it!

I'm Wearing Black on Thursday...Are You?

http://allhiphop.com/blogs/multimedia__music/archive/2007/09/12/18577348.aspx

Taming the Beast

While viewing clips of exploited women in magazine advertisements in a class at Temple University, I couldn’t help but notice the consistency in the animalistic images of black women. First it was Janet Jackson curved over with black tiger stripes painted on her bare skin. Then, it was Tyra Banks posing as a lion in a milk advertisement. And the ads continued in that fashion. In Psychology of Women Quarterly, an article entitled “Racial and Gender Biases in Magazine Advertising” explores these biases in depth. The results of the study noted that not only are Black women underrepresented in White magazines, but Black women wore the majority of animal prints, most of which were patterned after a predatory animal. This reinforces the stereotype that black women are sexually aggressive. Moreover, the image of “the Black Bitch” appears to also saturate the media. In her book, “Black Sexual Politics: African Americans Gender and the New Racism”, Patricia Hill Collins writes;

“Reminiscent of the association of Africans with animals, the term bitch also
refers to female dogs. Via this association, the term thus invokes a web of meaning that links unregulated sexuality with uncontrolled fertility. Female dogs or bitches “fuck” and produce litters of puppies.”

The “bitch” image ratifies the animal image. The “bitch” is a dog. The “bitch” is an animal. A bitch needs to be tamed. A bitch breeds unconsciously. How, now, will it be possible for one to read the following excerpt about actual bitches (dogs) and disassociate from the image of the Black woman (and women in general)?

“Before mating a bitch the owner must be prepared to commit a considerable amount of time, and sometimes money, to the rearing of the puppies. Breeding the bitch makes an owner responsible for caring for the bitch and the puppies and finding caring and responsible homes for them. Before a bitch is bred she should be examined by a vet to ensure she is in good health and, if possible, checked to ensure she does not have any problems which her puppies may inherit.”

The image of Black women as merely associated with animals however, has seemed to have evolved into the notorious image of the Jezebel. This is an image that has lingered for generations. Kelly Brown Douglass notes that,

“One of the most prominent stereotypes has characterized the Black female as ‘a person governed almost entirely by her libido.’ She has been described as having an insatiable sexual appetite, being extraordinarily passionate, and being sexually aggressive and cunning. Such stereotyping has produced the paramount image for Black womanhood in white culture- the Jezebel image. ‘Jezebel’ has come to symbolize an evil, scheming, and seductive woman.”

Jezebel is alluring, seductive and deviant. She is lascivious by nature. The Jezebel’s appetite for sex overcomes her and hurls her into an unrestrained eroticism. What’s even more fascinating are the underlying theological implications that these demeaning images suggest. What does this mean for me in regards to my relationshp with God? How and does this affect it?

Jezebel was first a biblical mention before mentioned elsewhere. Focus your attention however, to the three images in the book of Revelation that are centrally antagonistic to Christ, his people and his kingdom. These are the images of the Jezebel, the Beast and the Harlot. While the beasts mentioned in both Revelation 13 and 17 as well as the Jezebel and the Harlot all signify supernatural individual(s) and powers that have both spiritual and political influence, it is their images that can dangerously place linkage to the Black woman (as well as other women) and thus connect her unconsciously to all things spiritually perverse. The woman Jezebel was originally the name of the Phoenician Queen of Israel who rejects Yahweh as God, influences her husband King Ahab to commit acts contrary to Yahweh’s will, which in turn influences Yahweh’s servants to worship these foreign deities. Jezebel is the wickedest of women thus symbolizing a view of womanhood that is opposite to the Godly women represented in the Bible. The image of the beast holds equally negative connotations; He is the archetype of evil. With it’s ten heads and seven horns, Revelation 13:6 states that “he opened his mouth in blasphemies against God, to blaspheme His name and His tabernacle, that is, those who dwell in heaven.” There is furthermore a second negative feminine figure, the great whore of Babylon in Revelation 17-18 who rides the beast.

The Jezebel, The Beast, The Harlot

To dub the Black woman with any of these three terms, and/or all else associated with it, is to tag her with a lasting stigma. It is a sad, sad day when we fool ourselves into believing that we have somehow reclaimed and redefined “Bitch”, “Beast”, “Animal” and “Whore” and have magically transformed oil into water. If the notion that we, as human beings were made in the image and likeness of God, it should be intolerable for any contradictory notions of being and existence to maintain.

The "Too Single" Crew: "Too" Soon For An Update

Meet the newest newest member of the “too single” crew…

Kimberley has always been a friend of the “too single” crew but never quite made it in. Kim’s never really been “too single” because she’s always wound up one way or the other being “too taken.” But after ending a year long relationship and a romantic foreign excursion and a series of dates, Kim is single in the seminary and ready to become an official member of the crew. Kim is formerly of the “nobody’s” (you know…the people you love to hate) up until recently her and Jessie decided that they were now Fabulous, Fun and Flirty! Kim took time out of her busy schedule yesterday to take a 2 ½-hour walk (all by herself!) and she discovered that she is passionate, gutsy and sensitive and loves God all the more because. She has concluded this: She might flirt with you. She might wink at you. She might even invite you over. But she is NOT gonna give her heart away. And that’s all there is to that...humph!

A Haiku for Ashlee:

Ashlee’s ex-boyfriend (5)
just moved into her building. (7)
God! Give her a break! (5)
Ashlee's trying very hard! (7)

That’s all.

KHRISTI’S INBOX: FROM ANDRE, Sept 13, 12:26pm: “Just want you to know that I have not been on a date the entire summer. In fact, my last date was in April.” He may be hopeless and miserable, but he sure did have a heck of a 26th birthday party. Over 100 people, 80 of which he did not know all gathered at the infamous Delta’s restaurant with their 80’s themed gear…all to help make him forget that he is knocking on 30. Unfortunately, the party had to end…and he remembered. Still working very hard at being a “good guy”, he still manages to make it to church to repent every now and then. Shhhhhhh….Andre may have a crush on new “too single” member, Kim…he just doesn’t know it yet.

“I experienced the whole match.com dating thing this summer.” Jessie says.
“Does that work?” someone asks.
“Well you know…I’m not married or anything so…”
“Sooooooooooooo….it doesn’t work?”

Khristi is equally as excited as she is concerned that the “too single” crew is multiplying. Seeing that this is her last year in seminary and all, she has been working endlessly, doing what most people should be doing entering into their last year of school... diligently, planning and organizing…you know…field trips and stuff for the girls so we can have lots of fun this year. We may wind up broke, but we sure are gonna have a good time. She has no comment on her single status…but she has a confession to make: "Ever since I saw Russell Hornsby in King Hedley II with his shirt off, live on stage...I haven't been able to get him out of my head." Rebuking the image hasn't worked and she's since been hooked on "Lincoln Heights."

Ebonee admitted to the voicemail that she’s beginning to see a pattern in the men that have been approaching her. They’re either separated, divorced, or have children (plural). “Is it me?” she asks. Could be. But while on vacation 3,000 miles away from home she managed to meet a young man and a Christian one I might add. What are the odds? His name... is Light and he is a professional airbrush painter. Mad deep man. Maaaaad deeeep.
It’s unfortunate at how sleepy she has to be going to work in the morning, because if she’s gonna make it work with him, she needs to make it work with his 3 hour time difference. Good luck.

No one has heard or seen Tosha in weeks. Who has she met and what kind of mess has she gotten herself into???? But there is a "too single" field trip next week and she owe's Kim $60 for it so she has to turn up sooner or later. Hmm. Stay tuned…

Speaking of King Hedley...

It was about 5 months ago that I had a fever and an uncontrollable runny nose on the rainiest day in April on a Sunday afternoon. I hopped on the Transit to the city and walked about 15 blocks from Madison Square Garden and past the Port Authority Bus Station in hopes to find the Signature Theatre. I walked past the small theatre 3 times asked 5 different people for directions until I finally noticed that I was overlooking it. When I finally crossed to go to the theatre on the other side of the street, I was about a few inches away when a car just started backing up on me…and he wouldn’t stop. He only stopped when someone saw him and rolled down their window to scream at him. I’m thinking, “Why am I getting hit by a car right now?”

I may have walked for 45 minutes in the rain, I may have a fever of 100, I may have gotten hit by a car and I may even be wet, but dear God, I’m here! I’m here! I could feel the tears welling up in my eyes. I was relieved but miserable. I walked into the Black Box-type theater and there he was. Standing in the middle of the stage, synergy surrounding him like a force field. And I forgot…that I was wet and cold and sick. I am home when I am watching classic Black theatre. But this time…there was a cherry on top. And he took the stage and commanded authority. His blocking was perfect. His voice inflections. He was King Hedley the II and I was his Tonya…although there was actually someone else playing that part…but hey one can imagine. I was impressed by the rest of the cast, to say the least.

What a day. Well worth the sacrifice.

The Distance

I’m sorry I’ve been so distant. I heard this thing the other day about how when people rebel against You, it’s not some bright idea- they are actually angry about something. I’m not so sure I’m rebelling though. But I do recognize the distance…and I wonder. Do I feel as though there’s distance because I’m not at all night prayer like I used to do? Or is there distance because I’m not communicating at all? I think there’s a bit of both. And I recognize that the latter is more substantial than the other. I think that my problems with the “church” could be affecting my communication with you. But that’s no excuse not to say “Hello” or “Thank you”. Perhaps it’s because of distractions. Perhaps I’m going and doing too much and like Martha, have a hard time sitting down at your feet for a moment. Perhaps…it’s just me and it comes down to just plain ole’ heart’s desire. I don’t know. Whatever it is…it has to end.

why youth violence will NEVER end

In the wake of the large scale youth summit taking place this Saturday and the haunting of a summer of pre-mature teenage death’s in New Jersey, there is one thing that continues to remain consistent: Politics. And this is exactly why youth violence will never stop. I’ve sat in on meetings where we’ve gathered together to discuss “the problem” as blame was being passed around the room like a baton while others smiled for the camera for front page coverage. I’ve watched politics stare kids in the face and say “I’m here if you need me” but unanswered voicemails made those words null and void. I even had the nerve to try and get out there and do what I could as a member of the community, but politics stopped me twice as one questioned how they could benefit from my endeavor and the other denied me access before I could even enter the building. In order to eradicate this problem there has to be somebody who’s not in it to get ahead. There has to be somebody who doesn’t mind stepping away from their position, behind their desks and from behind the comfort of their subjective realities. There has to be somebody who doesn’t mind not making it into the paper on Sunday morning. There has to be somebody who’s willing to empty there pockets with the possibility of no return. Somebody has to be inconvenienced. How dare we ask our youth to fill the confined space that we have allotted them through our so-called “community initiatives?” I agree with Rev. Soaries; this is not the Civil Rights movement, and many ways it seems worse. The subliminal obstacles and phony concern make it difficult to know who our real enemy is anymore. The gun pulling the trigger on our kids is called “power” and “control” and unfortunately, it doesn’t just come in the form of vengeance.

West Wisdom