True Love...Waits?

Sex Sells.

That was the topic of a Headline News story on television some time ago. This was nothing new of course. If you didn’t see the news report, sexual images have infiltrated your television set and lyrics have permeated the airwaves. For many, engaging in sexual intercourse is as major a decision as what one would contemplate having for dinner. However, for Victoria ****, it is a life altering decision. So much in fact that this eighteen-year-old has decided to wait. For those of you who may have a hard time comprehending that…

it means she’s still a virgin

and has every intention to remain that way, until she gets married. Victoria will not allow sex to sell her to anything or anyone, but instead, she views her body as a gift to be given.

There is nothing default about Victoria. In one conversation with her she presented herself as nothing less than an intelligent, successful and considerate woman of God who lives life one thought out decision after the other. A native of Easton, PA, Victoria grew up as an active member of Greater Shiloh Church. It wasn’t until she was thirteen years old that she began to truly experience God for herself as she transitioned to a ministry where she says the teens were “on fire” for God. “It was this experience that pushed me into a relationship with Christ more so than going to church on Sunday morning.” Throughout this experience she was challenged to look beyond what she had come to know and dig deeper. In striving to grow independent in Christ, Victoria began to think seriously about the decisions she made: one being, her virginity.

“Your virginity is such a rare and special thing; you can only give it away once. It is something that you can’t give to anyone else but your husband.” Sex to Victoria is intimacy, and intimacy is dangerous ground when it’s given away frivolously. “Once you share that type of intimacy with someone, there’s a soul tie and transferring of spirits that God intended for the one man and one woman. When you share that with someone who is not your husband, it’s not worth it.” This was easier said than done for Victoria whose former three-year relationship was challenged at times. Though both herself and her boyfriend were Christian and active in ministry, she realized the humanity in them and attributes the setting of boundaries that led to their sexual refrain. She lightheartedly recalls her reaction at times when his parents were not home. “No we can’t go up to your room, maybe we just need to sit on the porch.” Her strength was no secret to those around her at school. “People would come up to me and ask me why. What’s the point? I would explain. Then they would ask me, “what if you love that person?”

What if you love that person?

True love waits. But lust waits for no one. She makes a clear distinction between the two. And suddenly, we’re reminded of the scripture that says that love is patient. Love is never in a hurry. Love is never in a rush. Love is not impulsive. Love is nothing contrary to patience and Victoria looks forward to the day when she will come face to face with the love that has waited so patiently for her. As she enters into her first year at Franklin and Marshall College in Lancaster, PA, Victoria is honest about the reality that her decision will be challenged to a greater degree. “I know it’s going to get harder. Age. Your body changes. There have been times I wanted to give up and I’m sure there will be times when I go to college and after. I don’t know what will sustain me, but I do hope and pray that I will be able to be as strong as I have been in the past.”

When asked if she had any words of encouragement for those women and men who are choosing to abstain from pre-marital sex, Victoria recalls the words of Paul in the book of Galatians, “And let us not grow weary in well-doing, for in due season we shall reap, if we do not lose heart.” She wants to remind them that God not only sees, but acknowledges their sacrifice.

“Good things come to those who wait.”

The "Too Single" Crew: Hot and Home for the Holiday's...Literally

Ashlee has turned over a new leaf. Well, she’s trying to at least. No more mean, arrogant, evil, mob boss, snide and rude men. Those guys are SO not sexy. She’s going to try “Nice” out for a while. “Nice” has been lurking around for a while now. He’s nice, sweet, faithful, driven, polite, loyal, a man of God….you know….everything that used to repulse her not too long ago. Boy is she trying to suck it up, but Boy is his niceness sure annoying. She is thankful however this holiday to be loving and living life, freer than she has been in a long long time.

The good news is he’s still Single and Fabulous...and getting cuter and richer by the day. But he heard a sermon last week and thinks his life is changed. “When are we as singles going to be able to put God in a love song and actually mean it? And to be able to truthfully say that no one will be able to get in the way of our relationship with God?”

Let’s just say I’ll never listen to Alicia Keys’ “No One” the same ever again.

“I am burning a bunch of old flames and the world is full of possibility!” Jessie is the optimist of the group. If we didn’t love her for it, we’d hate her for it.

This is the time of the year when all her family constantly calls her Chloe and never corrects themselves. “Hand me that fork over there Chloe.” “Come here for a minute uhhh…uhhh…Chloe.” As long as they’re mistaing her for her little sister, they’re not asking her why she “don’t have no boyfriend.” But while Khristi doesn’t have a “boyfriend”, she has decided to give “Nice” a try too and “Nice” sure has done a good job of sweeping her off of her feet. He’s not at all anything that she expected. He’s much better.

Kim is a little too educated to enjoy the Thanksgiving Holiday. The whole idea of feeling obligated as a woman to join the other women in the kitchen while the men watch football all day sends cringes up her spine. She can’t help but get flashbacks to centuries of patriarchy. At any rate she sucked it up and left early this morning to head to Cleveland. But not without first spending the day with her Nigerian Love, the great “Prince Amecca” and showing him her lovely new weave. Prince Amecca is so much of a prince in fact that he’s supposed to be taking the entire group of “too single” ladies out to dinner...ON HIM. I think I’m in love too.

INBOX from Latosha 2:45pm:
“going to my aunts in south jersey for thanksgiving. Trust me, when you hear the story about my love life you won’t want to blog about it. I’ll call you tomorrow.”

Not sure if I should be scared…

“It’s like I’m going full circle.”

And she is.
Spending the [Thanksgiving] Holiday with another lucky young buck, but this time with a twist. She’s spending the holiday with an old flame. Well he was more like an old candle. Not sure what this Ebonee and Ivory Thanksgiving will hold, but I’m very curious what kind of seasoning it’ll contain. Maybe they'll go together in perfect harmony. Who knows?