Fear Runs From Me

"What is it that you're hiding? Whatever it is, God is about to expose it". Those words ring in my head over and over again. These are the words of the wise Myra. Her words remain with me as I venture through this scavenger hunt they call life. Fear. A feeling of agitation and anxiety caused by the presence or imminence of danger. Danger. Exposure or vulnerability to harm or risk. Vulnerability. Susceptible to physical or emotional injury. "Whatever it is, God is about to expose it...expose it...expose it...expose it." And then it happened, one after the other after the other after the other. I remember when the first one hit me. I was paralyzed. I couldn't eat, I couldn't speak, I couldn't sleep. My greatest fear had met me face to face and it let me know that it was here to stay. And it had a name. This one was the fear that what I believed God said was never what He said at all. The fear that a confident President has in his victory and then when defeated, he has to give his speech of defeat to a crowd that he assured that he had won. The fear that I had believed a lie that I made up. Painful. Agonizing. Unimaginative. "Whatever it is, God is about to expose it...expose it...expose it...expose it." This last one hit me hard. It was called the fear of being average. Living an average life, having an average job, marrying an average man, having an average number of kids and being the typical average layperson working in ministry for the baking commitee at my average local church. This wasn't as painful as the others. Cause by now, I don't feel pain. Excited about the simplicities of the gospel and honored to make a difference in the realm of arms reach. My heart refusing to believe that this is the end all, and my mind succumbing to average.

But now I realize. Fear is a parasite. It's a plague. There was no other way God could transform me without me staring my fears in the face. You see, you can't live your life running from fear. Motivated to prove fear wrong. Why would I run from average when I know that average can't touch me? I Am exceptional. I'm not exceptional because I've worked so hard not to be average. I'm exceptional, because God created me exceptional from the foundations of the world. That's who I am, not who i'm trying to be. And I hear from God. Loud and clear. When God speaks, I listen and when He says it, it is so. No matter what external circumstances assert.

I don't run from fear anymore. Fear runs from me.