TV's Hots and Nots.

**I always wondered how i'd feel about Maurice Bernard 10 years later. And nothing has changed. Even at the ripe age of 42 I think, he's still amazingly gorgeous. I think he's got the whole non-aging Blair Underwood thing going on. In the words of a past Daytime Emmy Awards host, "The show should be called, 'General Maurice Bernard Hospital'. " YOU"RE HOT.

**Why don't they just call Making the Band 3, "Making the Beyonce"? I don't think P. Diddy has had an original thought since he ran the New York City Marathon. YOU'RE NOT.

**Joel Osteen and his supermodel preachin wife Victoria. You guys are always so happy. I find myself constantly being tempted to turn the channel when you're on because truthfully, I just don't want to hear another happy, positive, sermon, that usually convicts me in the state that i'm in. You guys are always on point, on schedule, professional, dressed to impress and ready to worship with all the same energy put on all elements. YOU"RE HOT.

**Top Model. Bringing back whatshername from last season with the red weave who got the drink thrown in her face, was who's brilliant idea? Unfortunately i'm not home on Wednesday's, so i'm going off of hearsay and commercials. YOU'RE NOT.

**Their Eyes Were Watching God. Oprah, I realize that Halle Berry is your new teacher's pet. But, what about that Michael Ealy? Have you seen him lately? Now I may not have seen the movie yet, and I don't know if I will. But I do know one thing. HE'S HOT.

**Rap Wars. I think every few years when the rap industry promotions team realizes that rap is becoming commercialized, a good fight needs to break out to stir up that good ole' gangsta image. Even though you have a few Grammy's 50, and a few Caucasian suburban teenagers have downloaded you on their ipod, and your newest single is titled "Candyshop", you're still hard bro. YOU'RE NOT.

**The Newlyweds. I think the most interesting thing about Nick and Jessica is the fact that they're uninteresting. A superstar, fashion guru, spoiled, daddy's girl and a former boy band, grassroots, independant, sports fanactic. What really makes the show is the mix of old sitcom music with orchestra symphony and horrow flick sountracks that they play in the background. What they're doing may not be funny, but the music sure is. THEY'RE HOT.