Losing It

I am not a virgin…emotionally
I have given it up repeatedly
to men who had no need of me
cause they failed to see in me the need I meet
hoping they’d consider me
a wife to be
birthing and giving life through maternity
on the dawn of a new modernity

I try to give it away physically
but that just isn’t enough for me
I need some more stability
Someone with some consistency
They aint lyin when they say fairytales are hard to believe
that someone will give me intimacy
and enter into my holy of holies
feening the redeeming power of just me
feeding on the seeds of my apple tree

I want someone to just Take Me!...mentally
To a place based on the contingency
that they’d love me unconditionally
More than just a bedtime dream
but manifesting in my reality
joining the community of my mentality

I’d take his class on Chemistry
He’d major in my ministry
and capture the divinity
restoring femininity
with his transforming abilities
venturing through my body with utmost sensitivity

I never learn you see
The lessons that life keep bringing me
As I continue to give myself away emotionally
I keep losing my virginity