The Misdiagnosed Depression

doctor 

It is days like today when I feel as if this walk is beginning to take a toll on me. I mean, having the utmost confidence and faith and solid convictions just to come face to face with disappointment and personal embarrassment. When you hold strong to the assertion that 4 + 4 will undoubtedly give you a result of 8 and yet you come up with 7 ½. Huh? What? Who is to blame for the mishap, I or God? Maybe neither. Maybe it was supposed to come to 7 ½, but because of assumption and the mere fact that I have been conditioned to believe that 4+4 = 8, there lies the status of error...ultimately leading to a misdiagnosed depression. We are a bunch of sad people because we feel as though we are failures. And failure has been a fundamental part of growth for many of us. But, our track records of failure are not as evident as many of us consider. Could it be that 4+4 did in fact, equal 7 ½ ? So you see, you didn't fail. On the contrary, you have succeeded. Mission accomplished! So why do we ask for God's will to be done and then experience the SLAP of disappointment? Why do we decree, "Lean not unto our own understanding" and yet presuppose? A difficult thing this is...this whole notion of trusting in God; believing on Him to handle our situations in due season and in due time with the exact amount of poise and grace that will generate such a perfect outcome that neither you nor I together could have put together years and years of educational research to discover. I believe that as Christians, we understand words and phrases such as "due season" and "due time", "grace" and "poise", but the glitch in our system comes with phrases like, "perfect outcome". It would only seem sensible...rational....logical to assume that this perfection would parallel our greatest wants and desires. So, if perfection is 8 and I need 4+4 to get there then doggonit, I believe I receive it IN THE NAME OF JESUS! But my dear Watson, it appears we have a quandary. The Christian has already premised the perfection of the outcome to suit his or her own needs! We have proclaimed from the pulpits that we lean not unto our own understanding, "but I know the answer is 8, cause that just makes sense". I suppose sense is not one of our strongest qualities apart from God. I remember when I was a 15-year-old sophomore in high school, I had the biggest crush on this guy names Wayne who was a 19-year-old senior and played for this championship basketball team. He was so fine! (from what i can remember at least) Well, after the game one day he came up to me in front of my friends (which was making quite a statement for my own rep) and asked for my number. Ahhhhhhhh! So Wayne and I talked for a few weeks, until finally he did it....he asked me to go with him to the movies. Ahhhhhhhhh! It was perfect. He was perfect. And the only thing that was standing between me, him and ultimate perfection, was my mom. Dun Dun Dunnnnnnnnn! So I finally waited for the perfect time to ask her. Of course that was when my grades were great and my behavior was exceptional. Who wants to ask a parent anything when their track record isn't spic and span?? So I asked and she looked at me candidly and answered, "No." No? NO? Can you justify your response with reason? Has not my behavior as well as my grades been ideal? Did you not say that you want what's best for me? Well then...THIS is what's best for me; because what's best for me, is defined by me. Now that I look back, I think, What in the world was wrong with me? Was I crazy? In any case, that's what i'll be asking my daughter if she ever tries to pull some nonsense like that. This grown man wants to take my 15 year old to the movies. I can see why that would cause one some discretion. And then for the rest of the week I suffered from this misdiagnosed depression because I thought that my 4+4 would undoubtedly get me my 8! What went wrong?
So my friends, don't be sad. Rejoice in the Lord always, and again I say rejoice! Have confidence in the outcome of the Maker. Have confidence in the response of our Father, who knows best.